Tuesday, November 07, 2006

ELECTION DERELICTION OF DUTY

Rex Works the Polls…Not in a Mark Foley Way

(Undisclosed Location, South Dakota) While other so-called “journalists” who went to “journalism school” and get “paid” for being a “journalist” are busy today misinterpreting exit polls and cluck-clucking over alleged voter “irregularities” and “fraud,” Rex Kramer (Danger-Seeker,) like the Vice President during Vietnam, has other priorities. After joining Dick Cheney’s hunting party for a day of manly animal-killing in the wilds of South Dakota, Rex and the Veep relaxed in the den of Tom Daschle’s former hunting lodge (bought for ten cents on the dollar in a debt-liquidation sale) and watched the election results come in.

Rex, ever the journalist, kept detailed notes regarding his Tuesday with Cheney, and will submit his story to SG tomorrow. While we don’t want to spoil the ending, let’s just say that at press time things are going swimmingly well for the GOP!

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18 Comments:

At 1:57 AM, Blogger sumo said...

You poor deluded Star Wars Super Trooper...swimmingly...I'll be looking for that story tommorrow Mister!

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

I heard on the news this morning that the results of the elections made the baby jesus cry and cry.

Did you guys get a good shot at Mary? By mistake of course.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger Wickedmick said...

Looks like Dick didn't shoot enough Dems, But maybe he did. Those cheating Democrats probably cast votes from dead people. Sneaky bastards.

 
At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Glenda said...

You look dapper in white, rex

 
At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

I just got home from South Dakota, a state of people so stupid they elected a dead woman to a county council...it's so great to be back in Florida, where we have nothing but an informed electorate! Anyway, I haven't had time to read the election results, but really, why should I? I mean, the GOP never loses, right?

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Well, they were going swimmingly, right up until they drowned.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger sumo said...

LOL Neil! Hey...get that story out! Don't care if you were tilting at windmills Mr. Manfromlamancha...get to steppin'...

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Kvatch said...

If last night defines "swimmingly" I hate to see what the GOP thinks is a crappy outcome!

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger fashiongirl said...

Who are you trying to kid Rex? Those are your pictures from Burning Man.

 
At 3:37 AM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

Yep. Rex is a closet hippie. You must have been high as a motha f'er to dress up like a storm trooper!

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Rex, it was a big win this week.

A big win!! Blow jobs for all.

 
At 1:34 PM, Anonymous Dude said...

Rex, did you wife pick up your meds? You're guna need 'em.

 
At 6:09 PM, Anonymous gordo said...

Rex--

My condolences on the election. I think that we patriots still have some hope left, though. Here's what I'm thinking:

What if Rummy and Bolton aren't really leaving the government, at least not permanently. There have been a lot of generals leaving the military lately. Enough to stage a coup d'etat. Enough to install President Cheney and Vice President Bolton in the White House!

The way I see it, a coup d'etat is the only way to preserve freedom, democracy, and the American Way.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Frederick said...

Implement plan 66.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Lily said...

Thank you for finally fulfilling the fantasy we women had of "Rex Dressed As A Stormtrooper" (whistles, whistles, whistles)

Send more panties.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger james said...

Rex, please tell me Cheney also gave you a tour of his undisclosed super-manly bunker.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger abi said...

Rex, where are you? Too depressed over the election to get out of bed?

 
At 6:39 AM, Blogger $!ckbh0y said...

You gotta come out from hiding, Rex... face it... America was sick to death of the neo-conservative values and foreign policies that destabilized the security of the US.

9/11 was Bush's fault and wouldn't supprise me if he gave the order himself for the twin towers to be demolished. America is waking up to that and the Republicans have lost out because a monkey is in the White House. If Bush had a bit more about him (upstairs), maybe you wouldn't of lost - but Bush is a moron and the whole World knows it (including Americans - what was that I hurd recently... Banana Republican?)

Having Bush as your President has ruined America's reputation and blew any chance of the Republican's retaining a majority vote in both houses.

Better luck next time - really, I mean it. Let's hope in the next couple of years the Republican's can choose someone with a brain for a presidential candidate.

 

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