Wednesday, October 25, 2006

OBAMA INHALED!!!

Dark Horse Dem Digs Dope

(Chicago) When projecting possible presidential pretenders, political pundits predictably provide parallels between the last Democrat to besmirch the Oval Office and the latest liberal limelight-lover. Comparisons between Bill Clinton and Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) may be a bit premature (Obama, for example has yet to have extramarital sex with an intern,) but it has become clear as Vizine that they share at least one vice: drug addiction. In an interview following his recent revelation that he may seek the Democratic nomination in 2008, Illinois’ junior senator may have dashed those very same dreams when
Obama admitted he not only advocates the legalization of the gateway drug marijuana, he uses it regularly! “I inhaled — that was the point,” confessed the pro-pot politician (actual quote.)


America’s foremost moralists quickly admonished the stem-separating statesman for his demonic dependency. “I would think a man with a name one letter removed from that of al Qaeda’s leader would be a little more America-loving,” tsk-tsked Secretary of Church and State Pat Robertson. “After the moral morass that was the Clinton years, I would think that his kind….by that I mean Democrats, of course…would want to present a more wholesome image if they’re serious about taking the White House.” Robertson, who is probably the least racist person you’ll ever meet, predicted that America isn’t ready for a President with a blatant disregard for law and order. “Our prisons are full of people who look just like Senator Obama; young, disrespectful and addicted to drugs. I ask you, would Barack Obama be any better of a President than Willie Horton?”

Incredibly but not unexpectedly, Obama’s confession was lauded by lefty leaf-lovers, such as House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA.) “When Senator Obama occupies the White House and our party takes both houses of Congress, we as a nation can finally fulfill our destiny…a destiny of compulsory gay marriage for all citizens, mandatory abortions of all unborn white children, and of course, government-subsidized and completely legal use of all drugs!”

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12 Comments:

At 4:33 AM, Anonymous Dude said...

Really, inhaled is the best we can hope for from anybody born since WWII. No if he INJECTED...that could be an issue. Or if he licked frogs...I'd have to worry.

 
At 4:55 AM, Blogger sumo said...

Yeah...frogs...

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Wickedmick said...

Bush snorted, i guess thats not as bad as inhaling......

 
At 1:08 PM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Dude: Inhalation, even unintentionally, of marijuana should preclude one notonly from holding office, but from voting!

Sumo: I always had you pegged as a frog-licker!

Wicked: I challenge anyone (other than Dan Rather) to prove that the Preisident has ever ingested anything other than the sweet, sweet smell of freedom!

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger Lola Heatherton said...

Oh, Rex Kramer, you have really pointed out all that is wrong with those pesky Gay-Agenda promoting left wing god-forsaking liberals. Although over at The Gay Agenda, I did post that the Blue State of New Jersey has approved Happy Marriages between same sex couples. Anyway, I digress. I do agree with Sumo, frog-licking is just so disgusting, it's scary.

But I like Mr. Obama. He's so sincere, I want to bear all his children.

 
At 5:13 PM, Anonymous gordo said...

lola--

It's just like you to want to bear the children of a terrorist drug addict.

Rex--

This episode just goes to show what I've been saying for years: Pat Robertson has a lot of good ideas, but he's a bit wobbly when it comes to enforcement of Christian Sharia. He really should have mentioned that the punishment for getting stoned is, well, you know.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger Lola Heatherton said...

Gordo, you know me so well, I want to bear all your children!

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger Crackpot Press said...

How hot would he look with Dred Locks?

He's so pretty.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

What about Obama-licking? (Passing the bong to the next commenter)

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

So, if I understand you hippies, you want a seed-spreading, dred-sporting, frog-licking candidate to lead your party in 2008?

Quick! Let's get Ted Kennedy to agree to a hip-hop makeover!

 
At 4:41 AM, Blogger Uncle Glenny said...

y'all forgot about this from the NYT:

Mr. Bush, who has acknowledged a drinking problem years ago, told Mr. Wead on the tapes that he could withstand scrutiny of his past. He said it involved nothing more than "just, you know, wild behavior." He worried, though, that allegations of cocaine use would surface in the campaign, and he blamed his opponents for stirring rumors. "If nobody shows up, there's no story," he told Mr. Wead, "and if somebody shows up, it is going to be made up." But when Mr. Wead said that Mr. Bush had in the past publicly denied using cocaine, Mr. Bush replied, "I haven't denied anything."

 
At 4:43 AM, Blogger Uncle Glenny said...

dang, forgot this quote for your convenience:

He refused to answer reporters' questions about his past behavior, he said, even though it might cost him the election. Defending his approach, Mr. Bush said: "I wouldn't answer the marijuana questions. You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried

 

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