Monday, November 20, 2006

KISSINGER CUTS AND RUNS

Former Advisor’s Patriotism Questioned, Green Card Revoked

(London) If anyone knows when a war is beyond winning, it’s former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. Still,
Kissinger’s recent defeatist statements to the BBC regarding Iraq came as a shock to most patriotic Americans, given that he himself advised President Bush on the war since before the first shocking and awesome volley of missiles into Baghdad. “If you mean by 'military victory' an Iraqi government that can be established and whose writ runs across the whole country, that gets the civil war under control and sectarian violence under control in a time period that the political processes of the democracies will support, I don't believe that is possible,*” droned Kissinger is a treasonous tone not unlike John Kerry’s…with the exception of the scary German accent, of course.



Kissinger’s liberal-like outlook on the war may affect the tone of the soon-to-be-released Iraq Study Group’s report, as the Austrian out-of-the-mainstreamer’s views had been sought by study group guru James Baker. At least one administration insider (who requested anonymity) expressed concern that the tidal wave of criticism from former allies was threatening the levees of liberty. “God damn it, if Baker’s against the war, I swear I’ll grab my shotgun and shoot the first lawyer I see in the face,” reasonably ranted the reactionary Republican (who identified himself only as “#2…with a bullet.”) Others in the President’s circle, dismissed Kissinger’s assessment out of hand. “Let’s be honest,” smirked White House spokes-model Tony Snow, “when it comes to matters of war, Henry Kissinger has never been right about anything. Ever.”

As expected, war-mongering liberals jumped on Kissinger’s dissent and offered up their own imperialistic plan for victory. Congressman Charles Rangel (D-NY,) the pre-ordained chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee and a man whose thirst for blood knows no end, has
proposed a military draft as a means to augment the all-volunteer force. Closet liberal John McCain (R-AZ,) while opposing any draft efforts, erroneously believes that more troops will seal the deal in Iraq. Both troop-haters, however, were put in their unpatriotic place by the nation’s “new Kissinger,” former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. “The path to victory was clearly laid out in the ‘Rumsfeld Doctrine,” he opined from his new Heritage Foundation office. “Less troops, less body armor, more shock and more awe…these are the tools needed to bring down the yellow menace, er, I mean the insurgency!”

* - Actual Quote

Labels: , , ,

37 Comments:

At 9:18 AM, Blogger Frederick said...

BBC?! That's one step away from Al Jazera...and you saw what they did , twisting Tony Blair's words...

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger DivaJood said...

Just so you know: Eugene Levy did a killer Henry Kissinger back in the days of SCTV. I know this is apropos of nothing, but I'm tired and I'm a grandmother, so I get to be vague once in a while.

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Okay, Iraq is the central front in the war on terror. So is old henry saying we can't win the central front on the war on terror? If he is, can we end the war on terror and get back to being human beings who use their brains again?

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Frederick: Between al Jazeera in Europe and the BBC in America, the world-wide anti-American media is inching closer and closer. It's only a matter of time before the two join with CNN and base themselves out of Howard Dean's basement!

Divajood: Am I to believe that Eugene Levy was once actually funny?

POP: Actually, I can't understand a word the man says. He sounds like Arnold with a mouth full of gravel.

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Perhaps Dr. Kissinger is suggesting applying the Cambodian strategy to Iran, as a ways of securing Iraq.

 
At 8:30 PM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Good God, Lew, are you suggesting that Henry drag us into a THIRD war that he'll eventually disavow?

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

Always cheering the defeatists.

 
At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Tom Harper said...

It's a sad day. The once-great Henry Kissinger has now joined the ranks of those weak-kneed RINOs (Republican In Name Only). It keeps getting worse. Now who will protect America from those icky brown-skinned people who talk funny and worship a different god?

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger sumo said...

Hank Kissinger...DON'T get me started! WHERE would I even begin! Do you remember what he did in Chile? He needs to die! Mayhap peacefully in his sleep...but nonetheless!

 
At 2:34 AM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

LMAO @ Tom Harper.

This Kissinger guy needs to be kicked to the curb before he embarrasses you any further, Rex. It's good that you distanced yourself from him immediately.

Divajood is right. Levy did the best Kisssinger EVER!!! He made those clowns at SNL look like a 3rd grade talent show.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Abby said...

Kissinger...just the sight of this man! He could have been stopped by the powers that be, instead (Bush) was allowed to appoint Kissinghim to head the 911 investigation, which will be taken nowhere.
Why did we vote them in again? Someone remind me!!!

 
At 3:53 AM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

I can't believe Kissinger was a hit with the ladies

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger Dusty said...

Kissinger was a hit w/the ladies? Yuk..other than that he does know how to cut and run when things aren't going our way..prick.

 
At 10:50 AM, Anonymous gordo said...

graemeanfenson--

I can definitely understand why the Ladies Love Cool K. Until his recent bout of Frenchman's Disease, he was Da Man! I get wood just thinking about the way he used to explain the necessity of staying in Vietnam, and I'm not even gay.

 
At 2:47 PM, Blogger Lily said...

Gordo- thats just icky, man.

 
At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Dude said...

I believe you stated that Kissinger was from Austria. Kissinger was born in Fuerth, Germany. Hitler was born in Austria. A natural mistake.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger mariamaria said...

I know what you mean. I've been questioning Kissinger's patriotism for years.

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger mariamaria said...

and i was for him before I was against him

 
At 10:11 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

Come on, Rex. The diaper genie malfunctioning or something? Ditch the kid and put your priorities in order, man--keeping these liberal pansies at bay is of utmost importance!

 
At 8:28 PM, Anonymous glenda said...

Rx??? hellllo!

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Comandante Agí said...

Hey Rex, did you cut and run from this blog? Where you at?

 
At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Dude said...

tap...tap...tap...is this thing on?

 
At 10:41 AM, Anonymous ElizabethBranford said...

Rex,
Do you need an intervention?

 
At 2:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is Pop of Morning Martini. Blogger is having some problems so I can only post here using the anon name.

I just went over to Left of Center's blog and it's gone. Does anyone happen to have Bill's email address?

Rex, you are worrying me. Are you okay?

 
At 9:55 PM, Anonymous Dude said...

Rex is fine and will be publishing an article at thebluerepublic.com on Staturday. So call back all the search parties. I have it on good authority that the title of tomorrow's article will be: Christ-Lite: Jesus for the Conscious-Conflicted Christian Conservative."

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger AJ said...

Rex? You still around?
They were just bags of sugar I was hauling-I swear!
(for the soup lines)...

 
At 11:36 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

I think we've lost him.

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger Laurie said...

I'm going to need suicide watch soon if Rex doesn't get his righteous ass back here.

 
At 5:50 PM, Blogger Callooh said...

all I want to say is I was for educating Rex before I was against Hillary shaving. . .

 
At 8:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Question: are you as big a dick as you appear judging buy the rubbish you write on your blog? If so, why?

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

I have heard through the grapevine that Rex was in a car accident, but is ok. Get well soon Rex!

 
At 7:02 AM, Blogger sumo said...

Yeah I guess it was rather horrific for the poor guy...take care of those body parts Rex...I know it will be a while...we need you back for our favorite game of conservative dart throwing! But...only after you are well again of course. Yeah, your site lost that smell of pork...I was getting worried.

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous cheesus said...

Rex, get better. Poor bastard.


And yes anonymous, he does have a ..nevermind.

 
At 2:37 AM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

Best wishes, Rex. Missing you BIG TIME.

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Rex,
I like, totally tagged you dude. Please visit here for details.

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Lily said...

Rex I don't know if you get these or check this blog anymore. But a bunch of us miss you and wonder how things are going for you, and are wishing you well.

Its just not the same without you. -Lily

 
At 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home