Tuesday, October 24, 2006

MICHAEL J. FOX: BIG FAKER?

Rush Limbaugh Outs “Parkinson Poser”

(Hill Valley) If there’s anyone qualified to know when a public figure is off his meds, it’s America’s foremost friend of faith-based pharmaceuticals, Rush Limbaugh. Thus, his recent diagnosis that actor
Michael J. Fox is not taking his prescribed placebo, or worse, faking his degenerative disease, was greeted as fact by all right-thinking Americans who tune in to his daily radio show. Dr. Limbaugh made his insightful diagnosis after watching Fox appear in a campaign ad for Democrat Senatorial candidate Claire McCaskill, in which the diminutive duper lauded McCaskill’s godless support for stem cell research while shaking like a Polaroid picture. “This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox,” opined Limbaugh, a man well-versed in shamlessness. “Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting, one of the two (actual quote.)”


Limbaugh’s dead-on diagnosis was lauded by titans of the medical world, including Dr. Senator Bill Frist (M.D, R-TN.) Frist, who many recall was the first physician ever to determine a vegetative patient’s chances for recovery merely by viewing a few minutes of edited video. “I believe Limbaugh’s excellent assessment will only bring more credibility to what I like to call “one-minute media medicine,” offered Frist, who will be retiring from the Senate this year to devote himself full-time to this emerging industry. Frist added that had his own study of this new field of medicine been more accepted in the past, 9/11 never would have happened. “Back in 1992 while suffering through Bill Clinton’s acceptance speech at the Democratic convention, I could tell that he was a sexual deviate. Had we been able to convey this to the American people, I have no doubt that Bush would have won the election, and that he would have not allowed, as Clinton did, for Osama and Saddam to attack us.”

Almost as if on cue, liberal Hollywood elitist rushed to “Faker Fox’s” defense. Leah Thompson, Fox’s co-star in the 1985 hit “Back to the Future,” and Justine Bateman, Fox’s vapid, whorish sister on “Family Ties” appeared on several Minneapolis public-access cable shows denouncing Limbaugh’s accusations. However, many feel their appearance was a desperate publicity ploy by two forgotten actresses, in what may be their last chance to avoid soft-core porn.

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17 Comments:

At 11:08 PM, Blogger abi said...

Those smears of Fox were beneath even Limbaugh - and you can't get much lower than a snake like him.

 
At 11:21 PM, Anonymous comandante agi said...

That McFly was always a chicken. Hmm, he must be a defeatist...

 
At 12:52 AM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

Limbaugh really takes on tough targets

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Abi: Unless, of course, you're Rush's maid...that ungrateful rat-fink!!!

Agi: Oh, he was. The 80's down-vest is a tell-tale sign of defeatism!

Graeme: On the next Rush Limbaugh Show: "Retards: Why Do They Vote Democratic?"

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger Crackpot Press said...

As someone who can have his life prolonged by stem cell research, I am sick to death of the maroons who think Terry Schiavo's life is more important than mine.

People who don't have a disease that can be cured by stem cell research should do the following:

Walk Proudly Down the Street
Eat A Snickers
Shut the fuck up.

 
At 1:26 AM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Crackpot: The best thing about a Snickers (aside, of course, from its sweet, gooey goodness) is that Terri Schiavo didn't have to die to make it so delicious! While we here at SG feel your pain, we can not advocate the destruction of innocent, defenseless stem cells in the name of so-called "progress." Doing so would, of course, only give aid and comfort to the enemy!

 
At 1:47 AM, Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Fine. I get it... The Snickers thing... you're making a Tina Yother's joke now...

Are none of the cast members of Family Ties safe?

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Oh and if you want to know what Biff is up to...

http://www.hotsaucelive.com/2006/10/remember-biff-from-back-to-future.asp

 
At 3:46 AM, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

You're definitely right about Leah Thompson and Justine Bateman. But what really upsets me is that Rush is picking on Alex! On ALEX for godssakes! Jesus! Doesn't he know that Alex is one of them? I think Rush just forgot (OK, perhaps 'conveniently') to take his meds.

 
At 4:49 AM, Blogger sumo said...

I gave Rush Limpballs the Fat Fuck of the Day award for that little stunt. And he can shove it up his Oxycontin loving ass.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger Callooh said...

OMG Neil! you're right! it's Alex!! what on earth is 'Rush Thinking' - oopps Oxymoron (surprisingly NOT here http://www.oxymoronlist.com/) - not to be confused with OxyContin, (although in Rush's case the two can be used almost interchangably)

I personally dislike snickers (too nutty), and the only chocolate bar I eat you can get only in Canada - crispie crunch - yum.

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Crackpot: You will never, never, EVER hear me bad-mouth Meredith Baxter-Birney!

Neil: Alex' downfall to the level of liberal pawn is beyond tragic. Good God, what would his idol Reagan say?

Sumo: Sadly, due to the anal cysts that kept him out of Vietnam, the act you advise for Mr. Limbaugh's ass is not medically possible.

Callooh: I like my candy bars to be like my radio talk show hosts: rich, bitter and nutty!

 
At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Lily said...

I thought Leah Thompson was just on that "sing horrible tunes with the kid from Silver Spoons" show????

I liked Mallory's boyfriend. Is he doing soft core porn these days???

You being the expert on porn these days... I bet you are one of those commenters on vh-1's "I Love The Nineties" shows with the Queer As Folk guy and of course the bowling alley hanger-on from "Ed".

"Eh" What the hell was his name again??? The Yo Mallory Guy??What?

 
At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Lily: The "Yo Mallory Guy" was Nick Price, played in an understated fashion by Scott valentine. He followed his critically-acclaimed role with a short-lived (3 episodes) spinoff, "The Art of Being Nick." As punishment for abandoning the Keatons, he was subsequently hit by a truck and hospitalized for 3 years.

Sadly, all of this is true.

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Lily: You should keep in mind that Leah Thompson has a long and distinguished career. She even got nekkid with Tom Cruise in "All The Right Moves".

Which is one time more than Katie Holmes has gotten nekkid with him.

 
At 5:04 PM, Anonymous Dude said...

In fairness to Rush...he's been off his meds too.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

"In fairness to Rush...he's been off his meds too."

LMAO!! His MUCH-needed narcotics.

 

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