Sunday, October 01, 2006

FOLEY: “IT’S ALL CLINTON’S FAULT!”

Clinton Climate of Creepiness Caused Congressman’s Crisis

(Washington) President Bush was elected to office in 2000 partly based upon his promise to restore honor and dignity to the nation’s capitol. However, it now seems that unlike the war in Iraq, that mission is far from accomplished, as the tendrils of immorality left over from the previous administration continue to linger over the city like smoke from a cheap, ill-used cigar. The most recent virtuous victim of this evil environment was
Florida Republican Congressman Mark Foley, formerly a leading advocate of pedophile victims…until, of course, he fell prey to the “Clinton Curse!”


Foley was swept into Congress in 1994 in the heady days of the “Contract with America” movement that saw the Republicans finally break the decades-long, morally-indefensible grip the Democrats had on the House. Like others in his freshman class, he immediately and enthusiastically engrossed himself in issues the opposition had long ignored. “Congressman Foley was passionate about child pornography,” declared a fresh-faced former assistant to the former statesman, who asked to remain anonymous. “I mean, sometimes I’d find him in his office late into the night, doing nothing but research on the subject.” The former aide added that Foley was a firm yet giving boss, who assumed a paternalistic role with his young male charges. “He insisted we call him ‘Daddy,’ and jokingly threatened to spank us all the time.”

Unfortunately, family values such as these were no match for the shroud of scandal that engulfed Washington like a stained blue dress. It is suspected that as a raw and impressionable Congressman, Foley was profoundly and negatively affected by the revelation of Clinton’s sins during the House impeachment hearings…so much so that his own moral compass was de-calibrated. “It’s all Clinton’s fault,” asserted a recorded message that greets callers to Foley’s former 16th District office. Although this is the standard greeting for all Republican Congressmen, Spurious George has learned that Foley rightfully blames the former Cigar Aficionado-in-Chief for his fall from grace.

While Foley himself could not be reached for comment, the naked young boy who answered the door at his Thailand vacation home spoke volumes with his broken English. “All Daddy ever talk about is Bill Clinton and boys. Bill Clinton make Daddy mad. Boys make him happy. Bill Clinton bad man!”

9 Comments:

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Kvatch said...

Speaker of the House Hastert was quoted as saying, "Like Clinton's unholy dalliances? Not at all. Why? Uh...give me a minute on that one."

 
At 1:37 PM, Anonymous gordo said...

Rex, you're a genius.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Seven Star Hand said...

Hello Rex' Danger' and all,

The time has arrived to think outside of the box, or else...

I know that many have chosen to write me off as some sort of a quack over the last three years. Now that this country and world have sunk to new lows and many of the things I've warned about have occurred, perhaps fewer will be so quick to scoff at what you don't understand. Neither religious followers nor secularists have been 100% correct and most have been dead wrong. Perhaps now you'll seek true wisdom and cooperate for the good of all before the Bush-Cheney-Vatican cabal revives the dark ages and puts you all in theological torture camps. Remember that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.

Understanding and fixing the failings of politics and democracy for the benefit of everyone, everywhere

Politics is little more than greed, arrogance, falsehood, hero-worship, and injustice taken to extremes and organized into teams (nations, parties, interest groups, etc). It is the struggle for your group, hero, and viewpoint so you can profit at the expense of others. This forces others to do the same in self-defense, causing an endless loop, downward spiral, and no-gain effect. When money, religion, and politics are intermingled, they form a true inescapable trap or bottomless pit. It is the opposite of compassion, cooperation, justice, and wisdom and causes you to expend dramatically more effort, time, and resources than necessary to achieve lesser results than are possible when you simply cooperate and have compassion, empathy, and charity for each other. Harmony and cooperation are on the perfect path, while politics, religion and money are ignorance, strong lies, strong delusion, and utter folly.

The primary, though hidden, purpose of politics is to effectively divide and conquer populations who support and participate in these great delusions. Politics serves to dramatically slow and confound progress towards common and common-sense goals that most people want to achieve. This is one of the reasons why major problems persist for centuries. When people finally cooperate to solve problems for the good of all, problems will finally be solved and stay solved. On the other hand, participating in and supporting politics causes problems to persist and even to reappear later, though they were apparently solved previously. Because of the ability of those who also control money and religion to reverse past progress and prevent true cooperation, politics is a great deception and a trap and the opposite of truth, wisdom, and justice.

There is no true freedom nor freewill in the presence of such pervasive and institutionalized deception and exploitation. People have struggled for millennia trying to form working societies based on these three great follies. Those efforts always eventually fail because the inherent injustice and deception at the root of these concepts always leads to chaos and destruction. How long must it take before verifiable wisdom is finally valued over such long-term and self-evident folly? How much longer will it take for good people to grow tired of such obvious lies and turn away from deceptive leaders and their deceptions?

Remember the saying:
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good [people] do nothing."

We are all trapped in a web of deception woven with money, religion, and politics. The great evils that bedevil us all will never cease until humanity finally awakens, shakes off these strong delusions, and forges a ...new path... to the future.

Read More...

...and here...

Here is Wisdom!!

Peace…

 
At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Diaper Changer said...

Kvatch: The day Hastert stands up for a Clinton is the day I vote for, um, a Clinton!

Gordo: It's been said often, but never enough...at least not to the head of programming at Fox News (where I clearly deserve my own show!)

7 Star: While I respect your right to your crackpot theories, I must object to the un-American nature of them. I mean, a nation without politics? Without political parties, how would anyone know where they stand on crucial issues such as gay marriage

 
At 3:02 AM, Blogger sumo said...

And obviously Rex you are not involved in a gay marriage with the new addition as proof...

There's an initiative here about taxing tobacco products quite heavily so I think Clinton will be having second thoughts about cigars from now on...or in the near future.

 
At 7:57 AM, Anonymous Lily said...

That was quite an, um, comment. Would that be considered a comment?

Well one thing's for sure, I've certainly been outdone.

We should respect Foley's willingness to take research to...a whole new level.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger AJ said...

Seven Star Hand sounds like something I'ld write...!

"politics is the illusion that mortals play in believing we create reality. The more that is at stake, the less the integrity of the process."

....
"...and jokingly threatened to spank us.."


Good one you silly boy...
Was that Fred's houseboy lent to the distiguished gentleman?
you know, this could only happen in FLORIDA.



..or Virginia...or

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger Tom Harper said...

Damn right it's Bill Clinton's fault. Child pornography research is very important. Foley was in the thrust of some breaking discoveries, and now he's been thwarted by the evil Democrats.

But the good news is, Foley can continue his research in prison. The only difference is, he'll be the subject of the experiments that his cellmates will be conducting.

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger Blogenfreude said...

This should kill off your political party once and for all, Kramer.

 

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