DOES FOX NEWS HATE AMERICA, TOO?

Uppity Anchor Berates Neo-Con Icon

(Washington) In an uncharacteristically unfair and unbalanced move, Fox News anchor Shepard Smith played Bill Clinton to Bill Kristol’s Chris Wallace when he verbally ambushed the conservative pundit on live television. Smith, who by all accounts once loved America, sounded hippie-esque when he characterized our nation’s victory in Iraq as a failure, and even unreasonably laid the blame for every soldier’s death from now until Election Day at the President’s feet. While calmer heads at Fox chalked Smith’s actions up to a Mark Foley-type lapse in judgment, others are questioning the network’s dedication to the War for Democracy©. “Fox’s tie-dyed slip is showing,” accused Washington Times editor Wesley Pruden. “Clearly, the time has come to pass the conservative red, white and blue banner off to a more reliable media outlet.”

In addition to Pruden’s fine paper, other patriotic public criers such as the Wall Street Journal, the 700 Club, Talon News and Spurious George all submitted applications to Tony Snow to become the new and more fair-and-balanced mouthpiece of the Bush presidency. While administration officials insist that Fox News has not been asked to resign its place of primacy, a gap-toothed source at the State Department revealed that “all options are on the table.”

As for Smith, a review of his journalistic judo revealed that the formerly freedom-friendly Fox friend took umbrage with Kristol’s assertion that the additional troops that will be sent to Iraq following the mid-term elections will once and for all bring the insurgency there to its last throes. “It's horrifying that you just said he can't do anything until after the election. We've got men and women over there who are dying every day and you just said that the man who you support can't do anything even though you believe he knows it's wrong,” Smith shrieked at Dan Quayle’s former chief of staff (actual quote.) To his credit, Kristol did not have Smith rendered to Yemen, even though he would have been well within his rights to do so under the articles of the heavily-redacted Patriot Act.