AMERICA’S NIGHTMARE TICKET

Dems Ponder “Clinton-Clinton” In 2008!

(Little Rock) When most America-loving Republicans envision worst-case scenarios, they conjure up images of another terrorist attack, failure to stay the course in Iraq, or another pre-election scandal involving a Congressman and a House page. While those nightmarish cases may provide fodder for bad dreams this Halloween season, conservatives everywhere must have slept with the lights on when they learned that Bill Clinton could be America’s Vice President in 2008!

Although right-thinking jurists believe such an unthinkable event would violate the 12th Amendment, the 22nd Amendment, as well as the sensibilities of those who believe men should only have sex with their wives (even those named “Hillary,”) some ACLU card-carrying legal “experts” argue otherwise. Among these America-hating attorneys are Scott Grant and Bruce Peabody, authors of a 1999 article “The Twice and Future President” and possible al Qaeda operatives. “In preventing individuals from being elected to the presidency more than twice, the amendment does not preclude a former president from again assuming the presidency by means other than election, including succession from the vice presidency," they treasonously wrote. "If this view is correct, then Clinton is not 'constitutionally ineligible to the office of president,' and is not barred by the 12th Amendment from being elected vice president.” Critics of the democracy-desecrating duo counter that the pair is (naturally) liberally interpreting the Constitution, and openly wonder why these traitors have not been rendered to Yemen.

Although it seems that only Hillary Clinton would select her whorish husband for the VP’s post, and that her chances for election are roughly the same as the odds of her being an actual woman, Congressional Republicans are taking no chances. Spurious George has learned that on the eve of the mid-term election recess, House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert will be pushing for the quick passage of the “Save America’s Teens, A Nobly-Inspired Statute” bill, or “SATAN IS BILL,” that would preclude anyone accused of improper sexual contact with a page or intern from holding public office. “I suspect Democrats will attempt to block this necessary legislation, proving once again that theirs is the party of immorality and sexual perversity,” announced Hastert during a break in the House Ethics Committee’s hearings on the Mark Foley affair.

Does the thought of a Clinton-Clinton White House leave a bad taste in your mouth (and a stain on your dress?) Swing by The Blue Republic, where Rex Kramer provides the "Listerine of Liberty" every Saturday!