SUNDAY SG EDITORIAL: RUMMY MUST GO

Appeasement of Democrats the Final Straw

We here at Spurious George are big fans of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. There are few offices at SG HQ that do not display some kind of homage to this great man, from the obligatory framed and autographed photo, to the life-sized cardboards cutout the DefSec passed out during his most recent visit to the office.

(On a side note, I have a message to the SG staffer who staged “Cardboard Rummy” and “Cardboard Condi” in, well, let’s just call it a “coalition of the willing” position. Very unprofessional, and I can assure you that Baby Jesus would most certainly not approve.)

Yes, we’ve always been very fond of “the Donald,” and by that we don’t mean Trump. However, perhaps it’s time to steal a line from New York worst toupee and sadly say, “Mr. Rumsfeld, you’re fired!” Yes, Spurious George is calling for Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation, but certainly not for the inflated laundry list of complaints the peaceniks have spun from tie-dyed cloth. No, as far as we’re concerned, prisoner-of-war “abuse,” incompetent post-combat planning and Nazi-laced demagoguery are normal, and necessary, aspects of war. What will always get our navy blue blazer in a bunch, however, is any attempt to appease the party of cutting and running. Even Jesus couldn’t forgive that sin!

In a letter sent to top Congressional Democrats (and intercepted by Spurious George by authority of the Patriot Act,) Rumsfeld did the unthinkable by attempting to soften the appropriate words he used to describe the party of Howard Dean (i.e. “pussies”) during a recent speech to combat veterans. “I know you agree that with America under attack and U.S. troops in the field, our national debate on this should be constructive,” namby-pambily wrote Rumsfeld to Democratic leaders. We here at SG, of course, are inherently opposed to writing letters, but are especially disgusted by any that invite traitors to debate. What next, Rummy? Will Osama be invited to the Pentagon for a strategy session?

As always, Spurious George would rather light the flame of liberty than curse the darkness of islamo-fascism. That’s why, while we call for an end to Rumsfeld’s meritorious (and, no doubt Presidential Medal of Freedom-winning) career at the Defense Department, we can heartily endorse a replacement. Our choice is a man who gives no quarter to the wants and needs of the Democrats, or for that matter, the majority of ill-informed Americans. For the next Secretary of Defense for this Bush President and the next (Jeb) Bush President, we nominate….Joe Lieberman!

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