Friday, September 22, 2006

LIKE HIGHER TAXES? VOTE DEMOCRAT!

Liberals Would Raise Taxes $2.4 Trillion. No, Really!

(Washington) The famously unbiased and non-partisan website GOP.com today revealed that in the unlikely event that Democrats fraudulently seize control of Congress in the upcoming mid-term elections,
they will raise taxes to historically high levels. Citing only slightly out-of-context quotes from or about tax-and-spend titans such as John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, and Harry Reid, the fair-and-balanced site announced that it was the liberals’ intent to raise taxes a whopping and America-hating $2.4 trillion dollars!



According to an impartial report produced by the Treasury Department, single mother, the elderly and middle-income families would suffer most under Democratic rule. For example, a family of four earning $50,000 would owe the Beltway insiders an additional $2,092 per year…a 132% increase of the pittance they now pay with the benevolent Republican leadership in place. “I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have $2000 in my pocket than in the government’s,” reasonably commented former Congressman Bob Ney (R-OH.) “No, seriously, I could really use the money. My legal fees are killing me!”

With the economy humming, the budget under control and unemployment at an all-time lowish level, many fiscally-responsible Americans are rightfully questioning why the out-of-the-mainstream party would feel compelled to overtax citizens if (God forbid) they get their pot-stained fingers on the nation’s purse strings. “I’ve heard they want to create a gigantic new bureaucracy to oversee federally-funded opulent gay wedding receptions, guaranteed welfare-for-life for drug-addicted sex offenders, and Ivy League education for pardoned death row inmates,” leaked average taxpayer Karl Rove. “Still, such a large tax increase seems excessive, especially since they intend to cut military pay in half, eliminate the Border Patrol and sell surplus weapons to al Qaeda.”

Kramer Kid Update: The baby, probably fearing that he/she will fall under the “capital gains tax” laws, is still a no-show.

7 Comments:

At 2:59 AM, Blogger sumo said...

You must be biting those danger seeking nails!

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Oh I sure hope those nasty dems don't take away my tax cut. I bought a hummer with that money I got from mine. Of course I can't afford the gas for it but it makes a lovely flower pot.

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger AJ said...

Patricia,

I have a shiney new red Hummer. What color is yours? Do you want to come over and see mine?
I discovered if you mix a little jet feul into the gas you tend to go faster, further and higher than before. It kind of ruins the breaking system though...

 
At 8:10 PM, Anonymous gordo said...

Clearly, the bulk of the $2.4 trillion would be spent on a forced abortion program and on the Christian forced labor camps.

Most Americans are Christians, so it will cost at least $2.4 trillion to feed and house them while they are re-educated.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger Liliana said...

Is it here yet?????

Is it a girl????

The Gynocracy awaits its newest fembundle!!!!

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Little Miss Danger Seeker better appear on stage today if she wants to share her big day with Mr Pop.

 
At 1:47 PM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

he needs money for Beer, pot and a hooker? I hope that isn't in order of importance. Pot, hooker, beer would be more like it.

 

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