Tuesday, September 12, 2006

9/11, PART TWO!!!

Taliban Attacks Exactly 5 Years Later

(Kabul) On the 5th anniversary of America’s darkest day, the few Taliban forces still active in Afghanistan launched an unprovoked and cowardly attack against US soldiers who were holding a completely spontaneous 9/11 memorial ceremony. By mere coincidence,
CNN cameras captured the sneak attack, and thus provided Americans with a vivid reminder of the need for never-ending war against the haters of freedom.

Owing his life to the same soldiers he bad-mouths daily to his national audience, CNN’s Anderson Cooper reported after the attackers had been repelled that he had experienced a battlefield epiphany. “These little brown f*ckers are insane,” shrieked the mainstream media’s magnificently-manicured metro-sexual. “I’m with President Bush; we need to kill every last one of these frigging animals!” Cooper went on to opine that those killed or displaced by Hurricane Katrina “had it coming,” that torture is “too good” for captured terrorists, and that, if given the chance, he’d single-handedly “choke the living sh*t” out of Saddam Hussein for attacking America. In an unrelated note, Anderson immediately tendered his resignation to his former CNN propaganda-pushers, and signed a pro-bono contract with the more patriotic Fox News.

Following a ceremony celebrating the 5th anniversary of his brave emergence from an undisclosed location, Vice President Dick Cheney commended the former CNN rejectionist reporter for his right-thinking revelation. “I firmly believe that if every draft-age American could see first-hand the freedom-hating tenacity of the enemy, they’d support the global war on islamo-fascism whole-heartedly.” Cheney added as tensions between the civilized world and Iran intensify, that dream may come to fruition.

Meanwhile, in Hollywood ABC network executives today gave the green light for production of The Path to 9/11 II, to be produced in cooperation with the entertainment division of Talon News. The based-on-possible-facts movie will depict the likely scenario of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ordering the strike of the CNN news crew based upon intelligence provided by Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY.)


At 5:32 AM, Blogger sumo said...

Problems commenting...

At 5:34 AM, Blogger sumo said...

Now it works! And I forgot the comment by now.

At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Rex Kramer, Blogger Blamer said...

I've e-mailed Blogger and requested information about how to un-subscribe from the Beta version; their response was "you can't," followed by evil, maniacal laughter.

The beta version looks like it'll be vastly superior when all the bugs are worked out...if the bugs are worked out.

That said, I've found that commenting on other Blogger sites with my account information is impossible. The only way I've been able to do so is by clicking the "other" option in the "choose an identity" section.

At 8:11 PM, Blogger AJ said...

"... to be produced in cooperation with the entertainment division of Talon News."

Excellent. I was glad to see that Talon News made the right choice from White House Press conferences to Hollywood.
but...ah, is there a real difference?

Anyway, I kinda miss Talon's #1 news reporter helping the president along with some of those tuff & unfair questions..and those backrubs were good too.

By the way: it took me hours to download something. Tell the asshole or assholees @ blogger that suggested 'upgrading to beta' would be better, to quit his/her job and begin work in the State Dept. where his/her kind belong.
bugs my ass....this is close to EBOLA.

At 10:10 PM, Blogger Lew Scannon said...

It was so nice of the Taleban fighters to wait for the camera crews to set up before they attacked. I understand now they're all looking for Hollywood agents.


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