IN “JOE” FACE, LAMONT!

There’s No Stopping Joe-Mentum!

(Hartford) Joe Namath. Joe Theismann. Joe Montana. The list of great American Joes who defied the odds and reached for the gold ring is long and illustrious. Today another Joe added his own story to that fabled legacy, as Senator Joe Lieberman, against all odds, secured his place on the November ballot. “This is a great day for Joes everywhere! I got may mo-Joe back!” Lieberman crowed as he announced he had obtained the required number of signatures necessary for placement on the ballot. “I have Joe doubt that Joe-mentum will carry us to victory in Joe-vember!”


Backed by the lunatic fringe of the Democratic Party (as if that wasn’t redundant,) challenger Ned Lamont upset the Joe-vertly America-loving sitting Senator in this month’s party primary. However, as the newest and only member of his own party, the “G-Joe-P,” Lieberman’s well-Joewn name will appear on the ballot near both Lamont’s and pseudo-Republican Alan Schlesinger. Asked for a prediction as to how he thinks he’ll fair against his challengers, Lieberman’s response was apro-Joe. “Neither is named ‘Joe.’ Thus, I say they have Joe chance!”

Many in the liberal mainstream media have treasonously opined that Lieberman’s primary defeat sent Joe-tice to other candidates that Joe-ters rejected his “Joe-ing the line” when it came to President Bush’s (brilliant) foreign policy. Lieberman stated that he rejects this accusation, asserting that he’s “Joe-body’s lap dog.”

By refusing to Joe in the towel, Lieberman seems to have gained the support of independents and even a few Republicans who refuse to be blinded by the Democrats’ Joe-mophobia. Polls show that if the election were held today, Joe would Joe away the competition. Lieberman admitted that he was humbled by the support offered by conservatives. “The fact that they would vote for a Joe-ish man means that the G-Joe-P, I mean the GOP, is a-Joe-k with me!”