HATE OR HERITAGE?

Florida Tag to Finally Answer Age-Old Question

(Tallahassee) In a movement reminiscent of woman’s suffrage advocacy and civil rights struggles, long-suffering descendants of Confederate veterans have been battling to get their message out to the people. That message, of course, is that their slave-owning, lynch mob-forming, KKK-organizing ancestors need to be remembered for the heroes that they were. As the mainstream media and politically-correct politicians have ignored their plight, these Sons of Confederate Veterans have decided to take their message to the people via Florida’s traditional public arena…the license plate.

"Public support has been overwhelmingly positive," said John Walker Adams of Sons of Confederate Veterans, referring to the proposed “Confederate Heritage” specialty tag that displays the five flags of the Confederacy. “The colored folks don’t seem to like it, of course, but their kind can be uppity.”

Nine other states offer license plates that profess pride in their military heritage, and according to Florida advocate H.K. Edgerton, his state risks falling behind others in the retro-racism race. “Are we any less supportive of our long-dead troops than Mississippi or South Carolina? We need to show them others that we’re as rabidly proud as they are!”
Edgerton and his posse later announced that they would hold a nighttime rally to bring attention to their cause, where they would wear white to symbolize the purity of their intentions, and also burn a large lower-case “t” to represent the truth of which they speak.

For the Confederate Heritage tag to join the nearly 100 others offered to Floridians, the group must collect 30,000 signatures of those likely to purchase the plate, as well as obtain the blessing of the governor. When asked whether he would endorse such a proposal, Gov. Jeb Bush remarked, “Oh sweet Jesus, I’d rather sign my own death warrant.” Plate advocates opined that as a death penalty supporter, the governor left the door open with that statement.

Note: The SG technical staff finally solved the riddle of loading photos onto this site. We won't bore you with the details, but evidently it involves something called "hetmel" (html.) Sounds vaguely French.