Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Hillary-Lamont Form Unholy Alliance

(Buffalo) Citizens of Connecticut who doubt insurgent candidate Ned Lamont’s America-hating bona fides should now have all the evidence they need, as
Spurious George has learned that the Che Guevera disciple is now in bed with America’s pre-eminent freedom-hater, Senator Hillary Clinton (not literally “in bed,” of course. I mean, we here at SG are fairly certain that Ned’s not Hillary’s type. Wink, wink!)

The two titans of treason recently met at a cheap airport motel under the guise of discussing strategy for Lamont’s commie crusade against fair-and-balanced Joe Lieberman. However, through a hotel staffer SG was able to learn (albeit hampered by a language barrier) that the pair of patriotism-haters may have been making plans for beyond 2006. “Servicio de habitación, Senor Kramer,” tipped the anonymous informant through a chained and bolted hotel room door, which intrepid reporter Rex Kramer (Non-Spanish-Speaker) later interpreted to mean “The man-woman and the effeminate man will be on the 2008 presidential ticket!”

News of this duo of democracy-destroying’s plans came as a shock to former President Bill Clinton, who has recently been touring Connecticut sorority houses in support of his good friend Joe Lieberman. “I feel Joe Lieberman’s pain. I know what it’s like when a blowjob, whether received by the President, or in Joe’s case, giving one to the President, can ruin your legacy.” Clinton stated that he would continue to work toward Lieberman’s re-election, but admitted that doing so might cause some tension in the Clinton household. “Please don’t tell Hillary I’m behind Joe,” pleaded the former President to this reporter. “She might make me be the woman. Again.”


At 11:12 AM, Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

Rex! What an amazing scoop! You DO work for the Sentinel, don't you?

At 11:13 AM, Anonymous The Insinuator said...

Wait- why do you get beta? Who are YOU sleeping with?

At 3:47 PM, Blogger Fred Bieling said...

What do ya know, Bill swings both ways...

At 4:01 PM, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

EB: The Sentinel?!? You mean the same paper that was warning Ernesto could be the next Katrina?

Insinuator: My wife's in the last month of her pregnancy; I'm not sleeping at all.

Fred: He's found, at age 60, that it doubles his chances.

At 9:19 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

One of the weather god's on a west palm beach news show said that ernesto would be like frances, jeanne and wilma. Then he said, "at this station we don't hype the news" Then his nose grew real damned long and he broke it off.


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